Crank of the week

In what's thought to be a world first, a British man has listed his wife on Ebay. When Paul Osborn discovered that his dearly beloved, Sharon, was having an affair, he flew into rage, threw her out of the house, and then attempted to auction her off.

Throwing caveat emptor to the wind, the exasperated cuckold chose - one hopes - one of the less flattering photos at his disposal, and advertised his item a "lying, cheating, adulterous slag of a wife".

Apparently, bidders were impressed by Osborn's candour, as well as his wife's digital manipulations, and offers as high as $1,000,000 were made for this pick of the litter.

Osborn later withdrew the item, lamenting the present, bear market for his prize sow.