Ever since posting a picture of Victoria "Mantis" Beckham a little too soon before bedtime, your work-bereft absurdist has been having nightmares of a pointy, hair-hat variety.They bear an alarmingly similarity to this naturalist's video...
It doesn't help that OOWA's least-favourite mantis continues to make rather pointless news. Posh recently revealed that she finds it difficult to think in flats. Presumably, she prefers a pair of nice, green heels...
"I could go to the gym if I wore flats," the Spice lamented. "I'd love to go to the gym, but I just can't get my head around the footwear." If only Vic Bitter hadn't eaten her Spicemates in a fit of mantoid pique during their recent tour, Sporty might have found a rare utility.
While it wasn't clear whether Beckham was wearing heels at the time of her bonehead comment, the fact that she wears flip-flops around the house perhaps explains the stagnancy of her plans for world domination--as well as the dearth of any discernible, super-vegetal intelligence.
In still more Posh news, the mantis appears to be cultivating some manner of elephant trunk under her arm, the better to snuffle A-listers, mates, and her own, browned pit-musk.
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